Peer Editing Feedback
Jordan
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why? the lead, put yourself in it, what does your story have to do with you?
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story? the lead doesn't include you, say something about activities that you are involved in.
3. Do the first 450 words contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work. Put a scene into your story, it's pretty factual.
4. What questions would you like answered in the next 300 words? What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement. i like your story overall, it's super well written the only suggestion i have is to put yourself into the story. other than that it's very good!
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